married life. 

"Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection" (itsalwayssteve) 05/25/2016 at 20:30 • Filed to: Married life

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Tonight I farted so bad in my mother in law’s kitchen that she ran around desperately to find something to spray.

She found my 14 yr old nephew’s Axe. I told My wife, “great. Now it’s gonna smell like a dude named Chad who knows where to get roofies.”

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 05/25/2016 at 20:34

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That’s just complimenting the chef.

The Dummy Gummy > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 05/25/2016 at 20:35

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A pro would have busted out a dusty all fart to counter yours.

yitznewton > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 05/25/2016 at 20:44

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Heh heh. When I was 16 or so, was in an adult friend’s house with his dad, in the basement pool table room. I peeled off a monstrous SBD that sent his dad scrambling for the Lysol. “Jeez man, that's powerful stuff!"

E90M3 > The Dummy Gummy 05/25/2016 at 20:46

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When I started in the oil field, we were working days and we were on the way back to the hotel after dinner. The guy driving the truck locked the windows and farted and started laughing, I countered with this silent but deadly fart that almost made the guy driving throw up. Two can play at that game.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 05/25/2016 at 20:56

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Thank you for this. I’m laughing so hard right now.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 05/25/2016 at 20:57

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Hahaha I know a Chad, and he loves Axe yo!

ttyymmnn > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 05/25/2016 at 20:59

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I have a 13-year-old who wears Axe. I’d have chosen the fart.

46and2aheadofme > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 05/25/2016 at 21:08

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Every time I wander into my MIL’s kitchen she looks at me like I farted. That’s her turf. But it’s also where the liquor cabinet is, so the trespassing continues.

Planes, Porsches and automobiles > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 05/25/2016 at 21:10

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Can I be ungreyed?

The Dummy Gummy > E90M3 05/25/2016 at 21:12

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I read this comment in a yogurt shop and laughed out loud. The masses looked at me weird haha.

fhrblig > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 05/25/2016 at 21:24

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My in-laws adore me. Probably because I don’t fart in their kitchen.

Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 05/25/2016 at 21:26

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I bet he knows where to get roofies, too.

shop-teacher > ttyymmnn 05/25/2016 at 21:32

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That stuff is the bane of my middle school teaching existence.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 05/25/2016 at 21:32

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Totally bra

shop-teacher > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 05/25/2016 at 21:32

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Hehehe, well done.

Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection > fhrblig 05/25/2016 at 21:35

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My in-laws adore me despite the kitchen farts.

fhrblig > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 05/25/2016 at 21:41

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Fair enough.

CTSenVy > shop-teacher 05/25/2016 at 21:53

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I drove my 13 year old cousin to KC and back on day. He decided to spray on Axe before for some reason. Did the whole trip with the window down.

CTSenVy > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 05/25/2016 at 21:56

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There it is, the single best thing I have read on the Internet today if not the week.

Mid Engine > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 05/25/2016 at 22:27

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I was at an outdoor bbq on Saturday and the host had an unfortunate incident. Don is very proud of his farting prowess (rightfully so) and standing right by the firepit, let one rip. Have you heard water gurgling in steam heaters in old houses? Sounded like that, pure moisture that went on/off for about 10 seconds. Don looked at me and said “I sharted, and my right shoe is full”. He duck-walked to the house, showered, and came back out in new clothes. We burned his shoes.

shop-teacher > CTSenVy 05/25/2016 at 22:55

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Should’ve strapped him to the roof.

XJDano > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 05/25/2016 at 23:11

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If you have the sprayer thing next to the sink, put a rubber band on it. I got my FIL and closest person was his brother so he went off, Bitching up a storm, we were all giggling in the living room until someone outed me. He was still pissed. I'm like the son they never had ( three girls) and I'd say favorite of the son in laws.